Now I'm known

as dapper Dan

the lady killer man

and those that I don't kill

I wound a bit

I run a fancy car

I call it the Mayflower

on account of all the

puritans who've

come across in it

Now I took

twenty year old Pam

up to the wood

near boulder dam

Stopped the car

and thought that

she'd know what to do

I said get in

the back now, Pam

she said what the

heck do you think I am

I wanna stay in the

front seat here with you

Well, give me

an older woman

every time, every time

give me an older woman

every time

'Cause they don't yell

and they don't tell

and Oh, they're

grateful as hell

so give me an older woman

every time

Now the day

that my uncle Joe

married my aunt Flo

he was forty-four

and she was sixty-nine

That night as I lay on my bed

I heard every word they said

I couldn't help it

'cause their room

was next to mine

He said, how about it dear

she pretended not to hear

he beg and pleaded 'til his

voice was hoarse and deep

He said Oh

how about it Flo

she said how about what Joe

he said how 'bout packin'

this in and the pair of us

gettin' some sleep

Oh, give me

an older woman

every time, every time

give me an older woman

every time

'Cause they don't yell

and they don't tell

and Oh, they're

grateful as hell

so give me an older woman

every time

Now last year

I divorced Maureen

she was just nineteen

the day that she

became my boney bride

She was as cold as charity

just as frigid as could be

when she opened her mouth

a little light came on inside

Now last week

I met her at a party

I was feeling kinda gay

kinda hearty

and several whiskeys

had sharpened up my wit

I said how about

a bit of whoopie

she said over my dead body

I said Maureen, girl

you haven't changed a bit

Oh, give me

an older woman

every time, every time

give me an older woman

every time

Oh, they don't yell

and they don't tell

and Oh, they're

grateful as hell

so give me an older woman

every time

Now when I was just a boy

I took a little

girl called joy

down into the meadow

and we laid down by a hedge

I said you know

my pretty little squaw

what your lovely

lips are for

she said to stop my mouth

from frayin' 'round the edge

Now I tell ya

my wife's fifty-three

but you know

she still suits me

though of late

her hearing ain't so hot

But at night

as we lay on our bed

I put my lips

close to her head

And I say

well, are you

going to sleep or what

and she's says what

Oh, give me

an older woman

every time, every time

give me an older woman

every time

'Cause they don't yell

and they don't tell

and Oh, they're

grateful as hell

So give me an older woman

a real hot-blooded woman

a ripened peachy woman

give me an older

woman every time...