I met him in a crowded room

where people go to

drink away their gloom

he sat me down and so began

the story of a charmless man

Educated the expensive way

he knows his claret

from his beaujolais

I think he'd like to

have been Ronnie Kray

but then nature

didn't make him that way

He went

na-na-na-na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na

He thinks his educated airs

those family shares

will protect him

you will respect him

He moves in

circles of friends

who just pretend

that they like him

he does the same to them

And when you

put it all together

there's the model

of a charmless man

na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na

He knows the swingers

and their cavalry

says he can get

in anywhere for free

I began to go

a little cross-eyed

and from this

charmless man

I just had to hide

He went

na-na-na-na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na

He talks at speed

he gets nose bleeds

he doesn't see

his days are tumbling

down upon him

And yet he tries

so hard to please

he's just so keen

for you to listen

but no-one's listening

And when you

put it all together

there's the model

of a charmless man

He thinks his educated airs

those family shares

will protect him

that you'll respect him

And yet he tries

so hard to please

he's just so keen

for you to listen

but no-one's listening

And when you

put it all together

there's the model

of a charmless man...

na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na-na

na-na-na-na-na-na-na...