Right said Fred

both of us

One each end

and steady as we go

Tried to shift it

couldn't even lift it

We was getting nowhere

And so we had

a cup of tea, and...

Right said Fred

give a shout for Charlie

Up comes Charlie

from the floor below

After straining

heaving and complaining

We was getting nowhere

And so we had

a cup of tea, and...

Charlie had a think

and he thought we ought to

Take off all the handles

And the things

what held the candles

But it did no good

Well I never thought it would

All right said Fred

have to take the feet off

To get them feet off

wouldn't take a mo'

Took it's feet off

even took the seat off

Should have got us

somewhere, but no...

So Fred said

let's have another cup of tea

And we said, right oh...

All right said Fred

have to take the door off

Need more space

to shift the so and so

Had bad twinges

taking off the hinges

And it got us nowhere

And so we had

a cup of tea, and...

Right said Fred

have to take the wall down

That there wall

is gonna have to go

Took the wall down

even with it all down

We was getting nowhere

And so we

had a cup of tea

And Charlie had a think

and he said look Fred

I've got a sort of feeling

If we remove the ceiling

With a rope or two

we could drop

the blighter through

All right said Fred

climbing up a ladder

With his crowbar

gave a mighty blow

Was he in trouble

half a ton of rubble

Landed on the

top of his dome...

So Charlie and me

had another cup of tea

And then we went home

I said to Charlie

we'll just have to leave it

standing on the landing that's all

You see the trouble with Fred

is he's, he's too hasty

You never get

nowhere if you're too hasty..!