Sung

Spoken

Whenever I see someone

less fortunate than I

and let's face it, who isn't

less fortunate than I

my tender heart

tends to start to bleed

And when someone

needs a makeover

I simply have to take over

I know I know

exactly what they need

And even in your case

though it's the toughest

case I've yet to face

don't worry

I'm determined to succeed

Follow my lead

and yes, indeed

you will be

popular

You're gonna be popular

I'll teach you

the proper ploys

when you talk to boys

little ways to

flirt and flounce, ooh!

I'll show you

what shoes to wear

how to fix your hair

everything that

really counts

to be popular

I'll help you be popular

you'll hang with

the right cohorts

you'll be good at sports

know the slang

you've got to know

So, let's start

'cause you've got an

awfully long way to go...

Don't be offended

by my frank analysis

think of it as

personality dialysis

Now that I've chosen

to become a pal

a sister and adviser

there's nobody wiser

not when it

comes to popular

I know about popular

and with an assist from me

to be who you'll be

instead of dreary

who-you-were, well, are

There's nothing

that can stop you

from becoming

popu-ler... lar...

Laa-laa-laa-laa

we're gonna make

you popular

When I see

depressing creatures

with unprepossessing

features

I remind them

on their own behalf

to think of

Celebrated heads of state

or specially great

communicators

did they have brains

or knowledge

don't make me laugh

They were popular, please

it's all about popular

it's not about aptitude

it's the way you're viewed

so, it's very shrewd to be

very, very popular like me

Why, miss Elphaba

look at you

you're beautiful

I... I have to go

you're welcome

And though you protest

your disinterest

I know clandestinely...

You're gonna grin and bear it

your new-found popularity

laa-laa-laa-laa

you'll be popular

just not quite as

popular as me.....